Fanfiction Victims Online
by pocoloca
Summary: Wrote this a long time ago. Was going to take it down cause I'm deleting my account, but decided I'd just leave it up as a big ol' FUCK YOU to the CU nts . By the way, I know it sucks already, so flame all you want, bitches!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Inheritance, Bartimaeus, Harry Potter, Narnia, Artemis Fowl, The POtter Puppet pals, or anything else I decide to slip in that sounds familiar.**

_**FANFICTION VICTIMS ONLINE CHATROOM**_

**Eragon has signed on.**

Eragon: Hello? What is this? Anyone there?

**Bartimaeus has signed on.**

Bartimaeus: Who r u?

Eragon: I'm Eragon, Who r u?

B: I am Bartimaeus, defeater of nouda and ... you know... all those other dudes... this takes a long time to type... anyhoo, BEHOLD MY MIGHTY FOOTNOTES!!1.

1. see, purty cool, huh?

E: O kewl.

B: I'm depressed.

E: y?

B: cause both of my masterz hav died... well, the ones i liked anyways.

E: masters? r u a servant?

B: NO! i am a fourth level djinni, and way more powerful than YOU, i'm guessing. wat r u? u sound like a magician.

E: i'm a rider.

B: oh a rider, how impressive! ... a rider of what?

E: dragons

B: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! dragons! u seriously believe in dragons? hah! lol.

E: no seriously. i ride a dragon named spahira. she's blue

B: uhh... sure. i have 2 dragons. one is dudley (he's green) and the other one's purple and his name is barney!

E: wtf

B: ... so...

**Aslan has signed on.**

Aslan: hello, my children

E: wat do u mean, ur children? morzan is my.. parent.. byt garrow iz mi dear ol' dad. ya. i no that cuz im wise!

B: o ya? who told you that?

E: my dragon.

B: again with the dragons? sheesh. no one believes in dragons anymore. 2

2.well, magicians do. actually, a dragon is one of my faveourite guises... aside form ptolemy and a gargoyle, of course. poor, gullible magicians.

A: what's going on?

**Harry Potter has signed on.**

Harry: yo.

B: yo? who says "yo" anymore 3

3 again, with the exeption of magicians. they like to try to sound like they're "cool"

A: bartimaeus, my child, y do u diss magicians so?

B: i am not ur child. leave me alone! u don't understand me... NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!!

E: someone sounds like they woke up on the emo side of the bed today...

H: who, me?

E: no.. y? r u emo, 2?

H: kinda... my parents r dead, my life sucks, and i'm surrounded by fing goblins and s all the time. i mean, wat the f! (A/N: special thxx goin out 2 neil cicierega... that line wuz from the POTTER PUPPET PALS!! yay!)

E: okayayyyyy...

**Trouble has signed on.**

H: trouble? iz that ur real name?

Trouble: YES! ITS MY REAL NAME, OKAY! im so sick of peopl;e asking me that! if anyone does it ever again, i'll fry 'em with my buzz baton.

**Grub has signed on.**

Grub: but mommy said!

T: GRUB!! GET OUT OF THIS CHAT ROOM!!

**Grub has signed off.**

**Murtagh has signed on.**

E: TRAITOR!!

M: f u.

A: now my children, do not resort to petty arguments

M: wtf who's he?

A: i am aslan the lion!

M: how can u type?

A:...

M: well?

A: good point.

**Aslan has signed off.**

B: okayyyy... this iz getting random. i'm out

**Bartimaeus has signed off.**

**Nathaniel has signed on.**

Nathaniel: has anyone seen my djinni? kitty told me he'd be here.

M: who's kitty? ur pet cat?

N: no! she's my girlfriend!

E: ur cat is ur girlfriend?

**Solembum has signed on.**

Solembum: hey! wat's so bad about having a cat 4 a girlfriend.

E: I KNEW U HAD FEELINGS 4 MAUD!

H: who's mod?

E: not mod, MAUD! u idiot.

N: kitty is my girlfriend who is a HUMAN GIRL! her real name is kathleen. she was just in this chatroom pretending to be aslan.

E: then where's the REAL ASLAN??!!

**Queen Lucy the Valiant has signed on.**

Queen Lucy the Valiant: he's over at Cair Paracel with me and Mr Tumnus. he's preforming our wedding.

H: wtf

QLtV: i dunno. bye

**Queen Lucy the Valiant has signed off.**

S: i'm out

**Solembum has signed out.**

E: i think ur djinni's gone to an EA meeting

N: wtf?

M: Emo Anonymus. ud better go if u wanna catch up wit him.

N; k. bye.

**Nathaniel has signed off.**

**Eragon has signed off.**

**Murtagh has signed off.**

**Harry has signed off**

**Holly has signed on.**

Holly: hey trouble!

T: blush blush hi holly!

H: sooo

T: wat r u doin fridy nite

H: goin out wit grub

T: wtf? how do u like grub

H:... actually, i don't know

T: watever.

H: bye

**Holly has signed off.**

**Trouble has signed off.**

**Bananasrokk has signed on.**

Bananas: hello? anyone there? hellooooooo? w/e.

B: that's the end! like it? don't like it? hould i write another chappie? if u don't review i will impale u on mi squishy penguin!! lol

**Bananas has signed off.**


End file.
